fear. it's a girl thing?

For well over a year, Gracie has been wanting to get her ears pierced. However, she always panics at the last minute and backs out, deciding to wait. Last week, we were at the mall once again and found ourselves inside a jewelry store...once again.

This time there was a girl there who had just finished up getting her ears pierced. She began to tell Gracie that she was terrified to do it, but now that she did it, she wondered why she made such a fuss about it. With that encouragement and a wallet full of cash, Gracie debated. After much fretting, she came to the conclusion that she should "just do it" because she would always be afraid to do it, so what difference did it make to be afraid today or be afraid tomorrow (now that is some awesome 9 year old wisdom!). I gave her every opportunity to back out. "Let's just hurry and do it"... she was scared but determined.

Here she is sitting in THE chair. Can you see fear written all over this child's face?! Still not sure if she will go through with it.

This is it, kiddo. The consent form is being signed...."Are you still sure?"...the response was a very quiet, "yes". Notice the hands tightly clasped?

Sensing her fear, the sweet girl doing the stabbing...err, I mean piercing... offered her to hold a bear. At this point, I am wondering if her fear is about to make her throw up! Look at that face!

Here we go, marking the spot for the holes....this is where we have to turn off the camera...for legal purposes. Gracie looks at me. I know she is thinking, "legal purposes????"

Voila! She did it!! I was so proud that she challenged herself and took control of her fear. Her last comments: "I didn't know my heart could beat that hard. I thought it was gonna pop out of my body! But I am so glad I did it!"

Don't we all face some kind of fear? It comes in all shapes and all sizes and does not play favorites. We need to try to control our fears. Better we control them than they control us. Not to say that we shouldn't have fear. Goodness, it can be healthy. It keeps us from doing stupid things sometimes!

For all of the sane things we may do, though, don't let fear keep you from living. Especially if fear is keeping you from doing things that God has called you to do. It's normal to be scared, but remember, God will walk with you, step by step. He won't abandon you...and He won't let your heart pop out of your body either!

...Signing up for Warrior Dash (www.warriordash.com)....so, who is on board with me??? C'mon...chicken.

my friends are sick

It is true. I have very sick and disturbed friends. Why? Because they love to torture me. I have never liked scary movies. My friends know this and take full advantage of it. I will get invited to the movies and they will even go as far as to purposefully not tell me what we are going to see, just so they can get a sick joy over seeing me freak out.

Yesterday, I got a text from my friend, my very best friend, to go to the movies. I knew immediately that there was a very scary movie out that she was dying to see. So, I reluctantly texted her back asking her what she had in mind. Yep. The movie that I nearly peed in my pants just watching the trailer. Ugh!!! I told her fine (after going back and forth on the subject) but she just better be prepared to be embarrassed and she can't act like she doesn't know me in the theater.

I wasn't kidding about the "acting like you don't know me". The last movie she tricked me in to seeing, I spent most of the time mindlessly eating popcorn and peaking through my fingers... well, when my fingers were not in my ears! I would even hum loudly just so I couldn't hear that stupid music that "sets you up".

She agreed. I agreed. Then she gets on the phone to see if anyone else wanted to go to the show. By show, I mean me. They get their money's worth. They get to see two freak shows for one. Once my "friends" find out who is going (me) and what we are going to see, they giggle and laugh and giddily jump at the chance to go. Sick. Sick. Sick.

I didn't disappoint them. The first jump and scream from me and they can barely quit laughing....ten minutes AFTER it happened. Sick. Then, the icing on the cake for these sicko's was that during the movie a demon calls out one of the main character's name..."Angie". I turn to my friend with panic and ask, "Did he just say, Angie????" In return I get a happy "Yes!" and hysterical laughing. Did I mention they were sick??

I come home and have to spend the next two hours unwinding my mind with trivial, meaningless stuff. I even have to take some Tylenol for the intense stiffness of my neck. I try to facebook and guess what?? They have already invaded my page. Sick.

Well, I am here to say that I am secure in myself and am not afraid to happily admit that I am a true chicken. Not a chicken with all things. I am adventurous and will try just about anything that pushes me outside my fear zone. I am a tough girl. BUT, I don't like scary movies! Why? Because they are scary, people!!! So to all my sick friends...

And PROUD OF IT!

will you be my valentine?

Ah, Valentine's Day. One of my very favorite holidays. It is a day that you can lavish those that you love with lots of extra lovin's. An "over the top" kind of day. From the time we are little this day is known to be a special day.

I remember my very first "real" Valentine. It was from a boy named Eddie. Fourth grade. He gave me my Valentine right before lunch. He didn't want anyone to see him do it, so he walked by and quickly tucked it in my lunch bag. I saw him put it in there even though he didn't think anyone was looking. I couldn't wait to get to lunch so I could open it up. It didn't disappoint. It was all girly with lots of hearts and lace. On the inside it declared, "Will you be my Valentine?". And, of course, I wrote him a note later that said, "YES!". There were many Valentine cards that were given to me over the years. Flowers sent to school, boxes of chocolate, and dinner dates. All in the name of love.
As we grow older, that love becomes more complicated. Love is declared and then taken away. Hearts soar with love and then crumble in heartache. You would think that the older you get the easier it would be, but not always. I mean, we have had lots of practice! However, people will declare their love for you but do things that go against that being true.

Some people will promise loyalty to you, but then abandon you when you need them most. Some claim to be your best friend, but then walk away as if they never knew you. Some will tell you that you are the "whole package", but decide they don't like your package. Some will use you, tell you that you mean something special to them, but hurt you in the end. Some will play games with you, knowing that they don't want you, but will still pull on your heart strings. Some love simply ends. Sometimes you may not recover from the broken heart. Sometimes you may always carry special feelings for someone. Sometimes there are regrets, wishing things could be different.

The one steadfast truth that we can know, is that the Lord is NEVER like that. His love is perfect and unconditional. It is solid. No swaying one way or the other. His love is faithful. He will never use you. He will never abuse your heart. He will never tell you lies. No games with Him. He LOVES you. Romans 8:38-39 tells us that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from His perfect love.

The great thing about the heart is that unless it stops beating, you can change so many things about it! It can pump again, but better. It can swell up with tenderness once again. It can forgive. It can be revived! One of my favorite flowers are tulips. I love how they shoot up early in the spring and stand at attention in vibrant colors. It is a reminder that spring is here and the cold, hard winter is leaving. The tulips dies but it isn't the end. It faithfully comes back once again. The heart is a lot like that. Resilient.
This Valentine's Day, I am wishing you all a day full of love. If it is a particularly hard day for you, bask in the knowledge that one day you will know perfect love. For right now, you can know of the love of a Savior and one day you will be able to reciprocate that perfect love back to Him and others.

For all those people that have faithfully loved me; I love you.

blech. more snow.

Growing up with an abundance of snow has it's downfall. You get tired of it. I can remember walking to school in seemingly blizzard conditions. (No, not barefoot and two miles up hill ...haha!) We would bundle up, boot up, and suck it up. Out the door we would go, hoping that we could at least see over the snowbanks for oncoming traffic. School went on as usual. No snow days. Heck, we even had recess in winter...in the snow! I even remember waking up one Easter with the option of hiding eggs in the house or hiding them outside in four feet of snow.

I have had my share of snow and I am so over it. Now, so that you don't think I am prejudiced against snow, I will say that I do like some snow at Christmas. I also don't mind the occasional big snow. It does afford at least one opportunity for some snow fun. I am able to let my inner kid run free. I have to remind myself that my girls have not grown up with snow and they find is amazing and wonderful. So, for their benefit, I will bundle up, boot up, and suck it up.

(Gracie and I having fun in the snow)

And after it is all done, we are all warm, I anxiously await for the snow to melt! The snow came, we played...now go away.

As I type this, I am looking out the window at a blanket of fresh snow. Sigh. And, once again, the girls are out of school because of it. I am glad to have them home but I wish it were because it was summer break!

As I decide what to do with this stupid snow today....yes, I said stupid...I will remember that this time next month I will be at the beach. Then, the next month after that, I will once again be at the beach. I also have a Grand Canyon trip coming up this spring. So, go ahead snow...give me what you got, you can only last so long!