turning 39 for the second time

I guess I had it coming to me. I haven't exactly been the nicest person all these years when my friends were hitting milestones. There were jokes aplenty: gifts were nursing home appropriate, dinners were sympathy meals for the dead, tombstones were erected, yards embellished with new ornaments and so many others that I can't keep up with it all. Oh, I harassed them and loved every minute of it. I don't know how many times over the years I heard, "Just remember, you will be 40 one day" or "Payback will be coming". Well.......it did. This is what I saw when I walked out the front door on my birthday. All the pictures below (minus one) are from my amusing friends that have yet to fully come forth for fear that I will take revenge.

This next photo was the one that made ChloeBeth nearly die. She didn't see this one and a car honked at us at her school and she thought it was someone trying to say "hi", so she waved out the window...that's when I told her why they really honked. Mmmhmm...that's right...she slowly lowered herself down into the seat and was mortified!

Poor Abbie....they didn't even spare her! She had to drive to school announcing to the world that her mom is old!

Turning thirty did not bother me. No problem. However, turning forty was a number I was not willing to face. I have been dreading this number. Really, I just wanted to go out of town and pretend it never happened. It doesn't even sound like a pretty number. When you say the word "thirty", it has a spring or a bounce to the number. When you say the word "forty" it sounds like a thud. Ewww. Who wants to be forty???

Some of my friends think that I am having a mid-life crisis. Possibly. I am trying to keep it real. I mean, forty is forty. The only people that use the phrase, "Forty is the new thirty" are the ones that are older than 40. I confided to a friend about a week before my birthday that I had begun reading the obituaries. Not because I was making sure my name wasn't there, but I wanted to know how old these people were when they died. Do you know how many people die in their forties and fifties?!?! Alot! I'm not afraid of where I will go when I die, I just don't want to depart early. And (gasp!) please let me die in my sleep. Nothing would be worse than a violent crime. And, how embarrassing if I fell dead in my Maine blueberry pancakes with blueberry syrup at Cracker Barrel!

I guess that it is time for me to stop telling everyone that I am 33. I have used that number for awhile. But, I still refuse to use the ugly number 40. And, don't even make me think about 50! GAH!!! I will be "one of those" people that hang on to thirty nine...for the second time.

I do have one last departing word for the people who vandalized my yard and vehicle. For those of you that were in on it that are younger than 40, I have a very good memory and plenty of time to devise a master plan for you! For those of you who are older than me and were in on the "fun", guess what? You are STILL older than me!